Archive for the 'Halloween Stories' Category



26
Oct

Soliloquy At Anita’s Bridge

In this story are doorways to some Macabre Tales

by a Macabre

Writer.

enjoy

and

Happy Halloween

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Last Year

after it rained

an old retaining wall

Under Anita’s Owl Creek Bridge gave way

and 

Fir Trees and Hemlocks and Cedars

and chunks of thin white clay

slid down into onto Old Creek Road.

 

An Old Cemetery called Mourning Ridge

gave up some of it’s occupants

and the broken and ruined coffins littered the road

like confetti.

 

Mr Butcherbroom and his wife were the first to come down

to look at the damage.

 

Mrs Butherbroom looked up at the Bridge and cursed

Mr Butherbroom swore

Mrs Butherbroom asked

 the darkness

that always seems to hang around Anita’s Bridge like fog

“ Do you think it’s still here? ”

 

Mr Butherbroom took his wife’s arm and they walked

away

and

from under Anita’s Bridge

The Creek gurgled and turned

and

it sounded

like

laughter.

 

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26
Oct

So You Want A Scary Movie?

So, You Want A Scary Movie??

       #-One of the 8 Films 2 Die 4    

       *- More Than One Copy  

American Psycho *

Amityville Horror (new)

Assignment Outer Space

Astronaut’s Wife *

Audrey Rose 

Bad Seed, The

Bell, Book, and Candle

Big Bad Wolf

Black Sheep

Blood and Chocolate

Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Buffy the Vampire Slayer *  

Canterville Ghost

Cell, The

Cellular

Chiller

Chronicles of the Raven

Clearing, The

Corpse Bride, The 

Cosmic War of the Planets

Cujo

Cursed 

Danika

Dark Crystal, The

Dark Ride#

Dead Birds

Death Race 2000

Death Tunnel

Deliverance

Demon

Demonic

Destroy All Planets

Don’t Say a Word *

Dream Catcher * 

Easy Virtue

Edward Scissorhands

Expecting Mercy

Exorcist * 

First Born

Fright Night*

From Hell * 

Gamera the Invincible

Gamera vs. Monster X

Gamera vs. Gaos

Giant Gila Monster, The

Godzilla

Godsend

Gojira

Grudge, The  

Halloween

Hannibal *

Hannibal Rising *

Hide and Seek

Howling*, The 

Identity *

It 

Jacob’s Ladder *

Jamaica Inn

Jaws

Jeepers Creepers

Jeeper Creepers 2 

Labrynth *

Lady In the Water *

Lawnmower Man

Legend of Hell House ~ 

Maximum Overdrive

Mazes and Monsters

Mimic

Monster from a Prehistoric Planet

Murders In The Rue Morgue

My Little Eye

Mystic River * 

Night of the Living Dead 

Omen*, The  (the Original)

Others*, The  

Phantasm

Pick Me Up

Premonition

Prince of Darkness *

Progeny, The

Pulse 

Ravenous

Red Dragon *

Reincarnation #

Resident Evil*

Riding the bullet

Rock, The

Room 1408

Rosemary’s Baby

Rose Red * 

Sabotage

Serpent and the Rainbow, The

Session 9 *

Seven *

Severed

Sight, The

Silence of the Lambs *, The

Silent Night, Bloody Night

Silent Hill

Silver Bullet

Slash

Sleepers

Someone is Watching

Species

Stand, The

Stir of Echoes *

Storm of the Century

Storm Tracker

Stranger, The  

Tales From the Darkside

Ted Bundy Story, The

Tell-Tale Heart, The

Thesis

Thirst, The

Tommyknockers *, The

Tooth Fairy 

Unrest#

Undead

Underworld

Underworld Evolution

Unnamable

Urban Legend

Urban Legends- Dead Mary# 

Vampires

Virtuosity

Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet 

Wait until Dark

War of the Monsters

Warlock

Warning From Space

Warriors of the Wasteland*

We All Scream For Ice Cream

When a Stranger Calls

White Noise

Willow

WishMaster

WishMaster 2

Witches of Eastwick, The

Wolf *

Wolfen * 

Yongary, Monster from the Deep

Young Frankenstein

You can see the expanded version at http://magicway.wordpress.com/2007/10/27/.

18
Oct

The Headless Horseman

I found, much to my surprise and great delight, a retelling of his folk legend online, an except from an anthology called, Spooky New York, by S.E. Schlosser. I’m thinking of adding it to my Amazon Wishlist…

One cold winter night, early in the New Year, a certain Dutchman left the tavern in Tarrytown and started walking to his home in the hollow nearby. His path led next to the old Sleepy Hollow cemetery where a headless Hessian soldier was buried. At midnight, the Dutchman came within sight of the graveyard. The weather had warmed up during the week, and the snow was almost gone from the road. It was a dark night with no moon, and the only light came from his lantern.The Dutchman was nervous about passing the graveyard, remembering the rumors of a galloping ghost that he had heard at the tavern. He stumbled along, humming to himself to keep up his courage. Suddenly, his eye was caught by a light rising from the ground in the cemetery. He stopped, his heart pounding in fear. Before his startled eyes, a white mist burst forth from an unmarked grave and formed into a large horse carrying a headless rider. The Dutchman let out a terrible scream as the horse leapt toward him at a full gallop. He took to his heels, running as fast as he could, making for the bridge since he knew that ghosts and evil spirits did not care to cross running water. He stumbled suddenly and fell, rolling off the road into a melting patch of snow. The headless rider thundered past him, and the man got a second look at the headless ghost. It was wearing a Hessian commander’s uniform.

The Dutchman waited a good hour after the ghost disappeared before crawling out of the bushes and making his way home. After fortifying himself with schnapps, the Dutchman told his wife about the ghost. By noon of the next day, the story was all over Tarrytown. The good Dutch folk were divided in their opinions. Some thought that the ghost must be roaming the roads at night in search of its head. Others claimed that the Hessian soldier rose from the grave to lead the Hessian soldiers in a charge up nearby Chatterton Hill, not knowing that the hill had already been taken by the British.

Whatever the reason, the Headless Horseman continues to roam the roads near Tarrytown on dark nights from that day to this.

17
Oct

Never Go Alone at Night

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The Alton National Cemetery is located in my home tome of Alton, IL. Growing up just down the street, we knew it as a place where 163 Civil War Union soldiers and 12 unknown were buried in 1870. There were a lot of ghost stories that frightened all of us in the neighborhood, though it didn’t stop us from going there in the daylight and attempting to in the evening (we always ran no sooner than we made it through the gate).

This is a really scary story about a 17 year old boy and his camera who wasn’t afraid of the cemetery or the soldiers from 1870.

In late afternoon under a blustery November sky, Gary arrived at the cemetery and parked his car. Partnered by a light wind, autumn leaves danced a ballet under billowing dark clouds, pregnant with rain. Gary opened his door, stepping out onto the pavement and around to the trunk.

The cemetery was draped in an eerie stillness like a thick carpet of sleep. Ripping through the silence screeched the ornery “Caw!” of a black crow perched high atop a nearby tree. It’s raw greeting startled Gary who looked upward to locate its source. Detected, the crow flapped sluggishly, launching itself lazily from its current location, then floated across the yard to another perch.

Inserting his key into the trunk lock, Gary sprung the latch and lifted the lid. Inside, his gear lay neatly packed. He carefully lifted the tripod, placed it on the pavement and rested it against the bumper. He lifted the camera case and draped the cords around his neck. He grabbed a leather gear bag, shifted it to his left hand and pushed the trunk lid down. As he turned around, he picked up the tripod, balanced it over his shoulder and headed out across the lawn. The grass crunched beneath his shoes as he surveyed the graves, looking for a place to set up.

gravesThe headstones gleamed chalk-like across the lawn like bony specters. He stopped occasionally to study the more intriguing ones before moving on. He located a bench under a thicket of trees, and after a few moments of contemplation, decided this was as good a place as any. Placing his bag on the bench, he set up his tripod and mounted his camera. After a few adjustments he was ready to begin shooting.

A damp wind stirred and Gary turned up his collar to block it out. Then he strode to the bench.

Gary didn’t particularly believe that cemeteries were the best place to encounter spirits. He figured they had more interesting places to hang out than a gloomy, boring cemetery. But Gary knew that this particular cemetery was the resting place of several Union soldiers from the Civil War, dating back to 1870, and had also been the site of recent vandalism. He heard it through a few friends that these insolent occurrences had reportedly agitated the inhabitants, causing an upsurge in anomalous activity. This all whet his curiosity and the fact that it was only 5 minutes from home compelled his visit. He wanted to gather some photos, see what he came up with, and take it from there.

Starting in the east corner, he worked the camera, scanning the eerie graves slowly around to the west. He was mindful to pick up as much detail in different areas as possible, including any structure of interest in the yard. Then, finding a position that displayed the most unobstructed view of the cemetery, he left the camera rolling on its own. Then he grabbed his smaller camera and set out across the grass for stills of select headstones.

He strode to the oldest part of the cemetery. Bordered by ancient trees, it was situated along the east wall and underneath he found one of the cemetery’s oldest graves of the soldiers. The headstones appeared weathered and worn, and after 100 years, some of the inscriptions were barely legible.

After several adjustments to his camera settings, he started clicking shots getting as many different angles as he could. From here, he moved down the row to get the other graves in a similar fashion.

Overhead, the blustery sky grew dark and Gary figured he had only about twenty minutes before the clouds began to dump its contents. He moved quickly out towards the center and across to the other side, making any needed adjustments to the camera settings and snapping more photos. The ornery crow returned and cawed another announcement.

“I better get going,” thought Gary and he started back into the direction of the bench. Pushing his luck, he turned and held his camera in front of him. He aimed it randomly across the lawn and snapped a shot with his index finger. The crow sounded once more, this time with grave urgency. Gary turned to view it, still holding his camera in his outstretched hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something stir through the camera lens. He turned back to the screen to view the image head on, but all he saw was an eastern view of the cemetery.

The air grew heavy and Gary knew rain was imminent. He returned to his camera and tripod, its red indicator light signaling that it was still running. Gary turned again, extended his right arm and attempted just a couple more shots before the clouds let loose. He aimed the camera randomly across the grass and snapped another shot.

Then he turned his head slightly to the left, but kept one eye on the screen. As he suspected, he saw a white figure crawling ominously across the lawn. But this time he noticed . . . it was headed in his direction!

Gary dropped his arm and visually inspected the area he was shooting without looking through the lens. There was no white figure visible, only the cemetery: very still and very, very quiet.

Lifting his arm and returning the camera to its previous position and using a sideways glance, he watched through the lens as the white figure crept slowly and insidiously across the grass. It seemed that despite the labored crawl, it was much closer than before and Gary calculated that every time he lowered the camera, the figure traveled 100 yards instantaneously!

The rain began as a light sprinkle, and Gary raced to his camera on the tripod then attempted to pick up the image of the white figure. Lifting and viewing once again out of the corner of his eye, he relocated the specter. It had moved much closer and this time Gary was able to pick up details in its form.

It was creeping along on its belly, arms bent at elbows dragging itself forward, the lower half of its body limp and useless. In jerky, unnatural motions, its head lurched from side to side. Its ghastly face was a horror to behold. Two hollow sockets glared at Gary across the distance while its tongue lolled in its mouth, slack jawed and hungry. As Gary studied its face, the glaring countenance told him he was being apprehended with careful determination—and malice.

Terrified, Gary dropped the camera and began tearing down his equipment. The air filled with the dank odor of mold and rot giving Gary knowledge that the specter was upon him, probably no more than just a few feet away. He tried to dismount the tripod and camera but was so frightened that his trembling hands betrayed him. Clumsily, he knocked his gear over, its red indicator light fading to black as it hit the ground.

He grabbed the smaller camera and held it up once more. He found the entity and discovered that it was nearly upon him, creeping relentlessly in pursuit. He had no choice but to leave his gear behind. He dropped his small camera in the grass and fled, running mindlessly towards his car, a projectile of utter fear. crow

The sprinkle of rain intensified and the grass grew wet under Gary’s feet. The crow cawed laughingly in the trees, and the smell of mold became heavier and more intense.

He was only 50 feet from his car when he slipped on the slick grass, flying headlong into a monument, striking his head on the stone. The crow cawed one last time and the drizzle of rain became a torrent. Gary lay on the grass, unconscious and bleeding. He wasn’t found until the next day. Three days later, Gary sat upright in his hospital bed, head wrapped in a turban of bandages. His equipment had been retrieved, but the camera and tripod was ruined.

By some miracle, his smaller camera survived the torrential rains. When he got out of the hospital, he had the film developed in search for evidence of the malevolence that had pursued him. He looked at the photos 100 times, scrutinizing the headstones, the trees and the random shots of the lawn. He found no evidence of the entity in any of the photos.

Sadly, he had no evidence of his encounter, save a nasty concussion and ruined gear.

The only witness an ornery old crow.He had no intention on ever going back to that cemetery. . . at least not alone.

15
Oct

Devil’s Luck

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Did you ever have one of those days when everything went wrong?

Maybe you knew it was going to be bad when your alarm went off  20 minutes too early and to make it worse it was one of those nights where you woke up every half hour and when you got out of bed you knew, you could feel it was going to get much worse.

Veta Trella had a night like that.

After she got out of bed she went  to take a shower and as she stepped into her tub she slipped but was lucky enough to break her fall with her knees.

That  was okay because Veta wasn’t the kind of person anyone paid attention to so if she had to limp and shuffle no one was going to notice.

That was the only lucky break Veta had for the rest of the day.

When Veta dried her hair she was distracted by the sizzling sound the wires made everytime she turned her wrist and just before her hair was completely dry some blue sparks flew out of the wall and all of the lights in Veta’s house went out and stayed out. 

She guessed all of those black scorch marks all over her walls by the electrical outlets she saw on the way to her basement to check her fuse box was not a good sign.

When Veta  finally made it out thedoor she looked down in time to see her that not only were her shoes not tied, they were different colors and just as she turned to go back into her house the door swung shut and she knew that not only was the door locked she had never taken her keys out of the candy bowl she kept them in.

But none of that mattered for very long because as she took  a step she tripped on her laces and went face first into the door.

It was only a matter of seconds- not minutes before her nose started to swell and she could feel her lips start to go numb. She poked at her face and sighed and then Veta walked around to her back yard.

She walked slowly up the steps to her back porch and when she reached down to pick up a little clay flowerpot to break the little glass window in center of the porch door she felt her fingernail peel back and then it came off with a sting.

She held her hand up, looked at raw  finger tip and sighed.

Veta made it through her kitchen safe enough but when she got to the living room she scared her cat Blitzer right off of the couch he knew wasn’t suppose to be on.

Veta didn’t have the heart or energy to yell at him because she shouldn’t have had to break into her own house and put herself in the position to scare her black cat into running straight across her path.

In fact, he was so startled by her that he jumped straight up onto the mantle piece above the fireplace and sent Veta’s antique mirror crashing to the floor where it didn’t just break.

It smashed into millions of little shards and a cloud of dust and glass wafted up and into Veta’s face- Veta’s bruised and swollen face that was now in the process of working it’s way into a full fledged allergy attack.

” Oh, why the Hell not ” Veta said and then she sneezed and her nose started to bleed- all over her brand new white blouse.

When Veta made it to her bus- well it wasn’t her usual bus because she missed her regular bus- she almost tripped over a woman who had suddenly stopped to pick something up off of the ground and that sent Veta and her things flying  in about four different directions.

Veta sort of shuffled and cringed all the way to the back of the bus and when she sat down it was on something wet and sticky and she closed her eyes and when she opened them she looked up and then down and then from her left to her right and then slowly behind her. When she was done she slouched down and held her belongings to her chest and tried to make herself breathe.

 She thought if she concentrated on doing just that she wouldn’t start screaming.

Then the woman Veta had tripped over took the seat right in front of her and she was jabbering and laughing and chatting away to the very good-looking man next to her.

” Can you believe it? ” she sang, ” first I find a hundred dollar bill right there on the curb on the very morning I’m thinking I’m going to for sure  miss my bus and then…” she leaned towards her seat mate and nudged him with her shoulder ” you ask me out and look! “

 She was holding her phone up and the man read the text message and he congratulated the woman on her promotion and then he moved a little closer to her and put his arm over the back of her seat.

” I mean, I don’t know where all of this is coming from.  I’ve never had luck like this before!”

” My Grandma would have said you have the luck of the Devil ” he told the woman happily.

And then Veta reached over she tapped them each on the shoulder.

When they turned around they were looking straight into Veta’s bright yellow eyes which were ringed with bruises and they saw the little white horns she normally hid under her blow dried hair and then her forked tongue shot from under her broken nose and swollen lips and she hissed “ your Grandma is liar.”

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13
Oct

The Horrible Events of This Night…

 ”I take my pen in hand to record for all Posterity the Horrible Events of this Night, the thirty-first Day of the tenth Month, the Day they call All Hallow’s Eve…” Henry stopped, put his tired head in his hands, and rocked gently from side to side. He took a look at the few words he had put down and almost balled up the paper to use as fire starter, but stopped himself at the last minute. Quill pens he could make for himself, and he had feather a-plenty gathered when the fox had gotten at the fowl, but paper and ink were dear and should not be wasted in a frivolous fit of pique just because he felt his poor words were not adequate for the situation.

He sighed, dipped his pen afresh and continued. “Last month, when the ravening Beast burst from the Forest and rent the flesh of my own dear Constance, I was terrified first for her life and then when she rallied and began to improve, that she might have contracted the Rabies, that dread Disease that drives men mad with Thirst though they cannot drink. I had no Clew that she would contract something far worse. Indeed, either instant Death, Death of a gangrenous Fever, or even the Rabies would have been preferable to this. This insufferable possession by a demonic Beast - the Loup-Garou. Yes, when the Moon rose this night, she turned and ran at me, and then burst through the door of our humble abode, tearing her clothing from her Body as she tried to tear away her own skin, writhing in terrible Pain as skin and bone shifted and teeth and hair grew. I watched, frozen in horror, as she finished her Change and turned to me, a fearsome light glowing maniacally in her Eyes. I knew her not, and slammed the door to our cabin in terror as she - or it - lunged at me. I could hear the thuds the Beast’s body made as it tried to reach me, to rend my body as hers very nearly had been on that Day one short Month ago.”

Henry stopped again, gazing into the distance as he remembered the events of the day. His hand was shaking slightly as he took up his pen and continued his narrative. He paused, breathed deeply and then began again with a steadier hand.

“It was not long before I could hear the Beast crashing through the underbrush near the cabin, moving farther and farther from my Home. I turned to the cradle by the fire where our infant Patience lay sleeping, still wrapped in her swaddling bands, innocent of her Mother’s terrible Transformation. For the first time, I truly regretted my decision to uproot my small Family and bring them to this New World where there would be no Family to fall back on when Help was needed. The Hunger has been bad since the Crops failed, and I was worried, too, when our goat and pig were taken by wild Animals, and when our nearest Neighbors all died last week of some foul Flux I was starting to doubt my Wisdom. Starvation or Disease seemed unavoidable. But I reasoned, at least we still had one another, and could take our few Possessions and leave, possibly finding a new place to settle before we expired from Hunger. But now, with Constance taken by the Beast of the Night and small Patience with no Mother to nurture or nurse her, I realize that I am lost. Even if I am not taken by the Beast tonight, there will be more Nights and yet more when the Beast will lurk about our small cabin -whenever the Moon shines full and bright in the Sky.”

The ink became slightly smudged as Henry’s head dropped down, dozing off briefly. He started awake again as the baby stirred and fussed. Carefully, he changed her and patted her and fed her a bit of the last of the family’s gruel that warmed by the fire. “Ah, child, I know that this is no substitute for thine own mother, but it is the best that I, thy father, can do.”

Eventually the baby settled down and fell back asleep again, and Henry took up his pen again. “The Dawn will break soon, and I must take the Babe and try to make it to a place of safety for the both of us. If things go well, I will find a wet-nurse for the Child and then - then, I will return to do battle with the Beast that has consumed the gentle, loving Patience of my Memories.” A loud thump sounded at the door and Henry jumped, his pen leaving a streak across the paper. Cautiously, he made his way to the door and looked through the peep-hole he had drilled there. Dawn had broken, and it was light out now, the morning sun shining on the snow. The blood-stained snow. He flinched back and then looked once more. As he put his eye to the hole, another eye met his. He started back in terror, and then realized that the eye was the same color as that of his beloved Constance. He carefully looked again, and there was Constance standing there in the snow, the rags of her dress pulled about her, her hair wild and tangled and her face smudged with dirt and who knew what else. But the light of reason was in her eyes, and she looked tired and harmless. As if she knew her mother was nearby, little Patience began to howl with hunger. Constance looked at his eye peering our at her and said plaintively, “Henry, it’s cold out here.”

Steeling himself, Henry opened the door. Constance stepped through, grabbing the leg of a deer as she did and dragging it in with her. “I did a little hunting last night, Henry. I brought home some meat - we’ll not starve now. Wouldst thou like to go and butcher this while I clean up and tend to the baby?”

 -She Wolf (c)2007

12
Oct

Good-bye?

 I didn’t think much of this when it happened, beyond the irritation value it afforded at the time. However, I have done a lot of reading about ghosts since, and I think this does qualify as a Halloween story…

My father died in March of 1993, and in August of that year, my four children and I made the long drive from Wyoming to South Carolina to clean out the house and get my mother packed up to move out to Wyoming with us. It was just the kids and me; my husband couldn’t get off work.

When we got there, it was typical August in coastal South Carolina - like living in a steam bath, especially for those of us used to a dry, cooler climate. But we had approximately 40 years of accumulated junk to clean out of the house and garage, miserable heat or no miserable heat. Mom couldn’t do it from her wheelchair. The house wasn’t too bad; I had taken care of a lot of it when I went back for the funeral in March, and a cousin had been working on it since. The garage outside in the heat was the main focus of our work.

So every day, we spent the morning in the heat of the big two car garage with its full rafters and large workshop, and sorted. After lunch every day, when the heat was the worst, we either went 13 miles to the beach to cool off, or hid in the air conditioning of the house.

Now, you may be wondering where the weird Halloween part of this story is….

While we were all together in the house in the afternoon, we noticed that the phone would ring, both extensions. Someone, usually me, would get up and answer it - and the other extension would continue to ring after you had picked up the first, no matter which phone you started with. There would be no dial tone, and at the other end - well, it sounded like a very distant, very bad connection. You could almost hear something or someone, but not quite, but there wasn’t any static either.

This happened no matter what the weather, and it only happened during the afternoons when we were together in the house.

My cousin told me that it had started a few days before we arrived. It kept on until one day when my ten year old son got frustrated and spoke quite rudely into the phone when he couldn’t hear anyone at the other end and the extension kept ringing. I can’t remember what he said - there were no bad words involved, but he was clearly frustrated. It never happened again after that day.

Oh, and by the way…my father was an electrician who had frequently worked on the phone lines at his job at the paper mill. He had installed both of those phones in the house. Oh- and like any older Southerner, he didn’t tolerate rudeness in a child.

I wonder - was he trying to say good-bye?

- She Wolf ©2007

12
Oct

In Memory Of A Practical Man

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Mattie Greaves sat across from Mr. Sawyer Day, the owner of a small and all but forgotten funeral home in Seattle, Washington and together they were quietly discussing  a suitable coffin for Mattie’s husband Tabor.

” My husband is a practical man ” Mattie told Mr. Day ” and he wouldn’t like anything with those fancy gold handles and he certainly wouldn’t approve of things like this ” Mattie was pointing at a catalog opened to a  glossy page of coffins painted blue and gold and even black with ducks and eagles flying around their edges.

” I understand ” Mr. Day said ” and I have several models for you to consider that are more traditional. I’m sure we can find one here that your husband would approve of. “

Mr. Day is almost 65 and he had taken over Morning Ridge Funeral Home from his Mother’s family right after he had turned 30. He had started working there right after he turned 16 so that means that for over 50 years Mr. Sawyer Day had heard and seen it all.

So when Mattie Greaves asked if the traditional model she was looking at came with a comfortable pillow Mr. Day didn’t even look up. ” From what I understand it does, however in the past some of our families have brought in their own blankets and pillows. “

” My husband is very fond of candy as well. ” Mattie whispered. ” Now his doctor told  him he needs to give up sweets but you know, he’s along in years and he’s been through so much. I ask you Mr. Day how could I take away his salt water taffy?”

” My Mother was the same way, she was fond of her Cuban Cigars. Not only did she refuse to give them up we could never figure out how she got her hands on them to begin with. In the end, we just let it go.”

” So of course I can…”

” Of course you can Mrs. Greaves, whatever you think would have made your husband happy.”

After going through a few more books Mattie decided on a solid oak model with bronze handles and a lovely cream colored liner. She passed on the flowers.

” He’s allergic ” she told Mr. Day.

Mr. Day and Mattie went through numbers and she was about to pull out her check book when Mr. Day said, ” We’re almost finished Mrs. Greaves all we have to do is discuss your choice of a grave liners..

Mattie dropped her checkbook on the table and looked at Mr. Day for almost two minutes before her face turned a little red and tears welled up in her eyes., ” Oh my, that sounds so final.”

” Mrs. Greaves, I’m very sorry.  I don’t mean to rush you. If you need more time to go over…”

” No Mr Day…you’ve been very kind and patient with me. It’s my fault. I’m the one who has been doing the rushing. I should have explained…my husband just needs a coffin until the one he normally uses arrives from back home.”

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13
Sep

The Indiana Toilet Monster

In the spirit of the upcoming holiday I thought I’d post some nifty Halloween Related Urban Legends from now until the BIG DAY.

I’ve decided to start with

The Toilet Monster

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The toilet monster is a girl named Carmen who was pushed down into a sewer by her classmates and died. Carmen Whitehead lived in Indiana, so the story goes- and for some reason it’s important to mention that so I did.

Okay…back to the story.

So shortly after Carmen meets her death in the Sewer this post shows up at MySpace:

If you don’t repost this saying:

They Pushed Her Down The Sewer

Carmen will get you…

To fill you in, Carmen from Indiana will come up from you Shower or Toilet and drag you down to where she is in the sewers and then she’ll kill you.

I think it would be way more efficient to kill you first and then flush you down the toilet- but hey I didn’t write this.

I did however enjoy it because I can’t help but to wonder how many of you will think about Carmen The Indiana Toilet Monster the next time you visit the smallest room in the house.

I think that’s pretty darn funny.

Urban Legends…. just a little trick among the treats.

09
Sep

Fatal Lane

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In the town of Bury, Washington there is a street named Fatal Lane.

The Planning Department in Bury changed it’s name to the less obvious name of 51st Ave West because there were always accidents or underage drinking or people in gray and black robes drawing pentagrams and runes on the trees and then someone did something to Mrs. Machin’s cat Darwin that snapped  Bury’s last nerve.

Darwin came home one Halloween with a pentagram shaved onto the top of his head and Mrs. Machin took Darwin, her shotgun and about a dozen angry pet lovers to the next City Council meeting and she spoke for about 15 minutes on those ” Looney Tunes ” from Seattle coming out to Bury to look for ghosts.

At that point she launched into a long and colorful speech about the lack of mental health care in our health care system and how that would be responsible for ending the world, as we know it.

Then Adeen launched into a speech about going Green.

It’s not like the Council could stop her from talking because she’d called ahead and had herself put on the agenda. And nobody in Bury was going to try and pull that gun out of her hands because it was loaded.

As a matter of fact it was always loaded

Everyone in Bury knew you could end up with a backside full of shot for no other reason then Adeen was trigger happy and she had a very bad tempter. Even a few ‘ Looney Tunes’ from Seattle learned that fact the hardway.

To placate Mrs. Machin, because at one point instead of waving Darwin around she waved the gun around and blew a hole in the ceiling a motion to recommend the street of Fatal Lane be renamed 51st Ave West was made and passed by the City Council.

” And what purpose will that serve? ” Mrs. Machin asked with gun firmly in hand.

” Well Adeen, it’s not likely that those Ghost Hunter TV shows are going to want to waste air time talking about 51st Ave West and it’s high traffic fatality rate are they?” asked one Councilman.

One of the Councilwomen said from under the table, ” they’ll end up sounding like a traffic report on the five o’clock news Adeen. It’s that darned name that makes it sound Supernatural. Fatal Lane. Who was the Mental Defective that gave it that name anyway?”

” It was your Grandfather Marisol. And get up off the floor would you?” the Mayor said as he rubbed his forehead.

” Look Adeen, we’ll Fatal  turn it into a one way one lane street. Nobody will be able to park out there and you know how ticket happy…. I mean diligent our Officers are about traffic enforcement. It’s a start, all right? “

Adeen Machin stared up at the hole in the ceiling and then she spit some plaster out of her mouth. ” Fine, but if Darwin or anyone else’s pet gets abused again 51st Ave goes back to being Fatal Lane…. do we have an agreement?”

Somebody from in back of the room made a motion to Adeen’s proposal.

And it passed.

51st Ave W turned up on Maps and Fatal Lane disappeared and then stories new stories about a lost road in the town of Bury that spirits used to travel to the next world turned up.

That same year Darwin came home, two days before Halloween with a goat’s head drawn onto his side with White Out.

On Halloween Mrs. Machin and her friends went out to Fatal Lane and waited for ” those loonies ” to show up.

Mrs. Machin was the first to step out onto the road and when the robed figures saw the all five foot nothing of Mrs. Machin they tried, to their credit, not to laugh.

Only when the five foot nothing Mrs. Machin held Darwin up they did laugh and the rest of Mrs. Machin’s friends came from the shadows the laughter…. died.

” So tell me, educate me please ” Adeen said in a low roar ” why you lot insist on coming up here and tormenting us for every damned Halloween.”

” This road is a path to the next world, it’s cursed, and that’s why people disappear from here- never to be seen again.”

Adeen practically choked ” Are you out of your minds?” This road doesn’t go into the next world; this road leads straight to the back door of Fallen Prison. That’s why they call it Fatal Lane you numbskulls. This is the road the Prison uses to transport the condemned on.”

 No it’s not, ” said a young woman who forgot to speak through clenched teeth these returning her voice to its naturally sounding shrill state. ” Fallen is shut down, there aren’t any executions going on out there.”

Adeen raised her shotgun to her shoulder. ” Guess again…okay people let’s go.”

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